Monday, October 5, 2015

Shifting Into Gear

Dear Readers,

A funny thing happened one night while I was on my way to the store.  My car broke down.

But not just broke down, Little Wanita went into that big parking lot in the sky, and refused to come back down.  After selling her to the junk yard, and getting a very small amount, that didn't nearly cover my own happy memories of us sailing down multiple highways, I let her go.

Losing your first car is such a weird experience, but it wasn't until I got my second one that kind of threw me off guard.

My second car was a gift that I wouldn't drive for nearly a year.  Why?  Because it was a manual.

At first I thought:  "I got this!"  I hopped in the car, with my mother by my side, and I remember my enthusiasm promptly disappearing as the car shut down six times before I could even pull out of the driveway.  As she tried to tell me what to do, and after the car shut down multiple times at the first stop sign, began to roll back on a hill, and had an elderly woman give me the finger because my car was jerking too hard and wasn't going fast enough for her, I was like:  "Nope!  I'm done!"

This car, that was at first a symbol of love and hope, became a conduit of fear and failure.  Each morning I would wake up, look out the window, and see it... mocking me.

It only got worse when my mother started gleefully driving around, calling it her "weekend car" while I sat, sadly, in the passenger seat as she sang loudly out of the key.  Though I was happy for her (sarcasm at EPIC proportions), I felt so disappointed in myself.

There were moments when one of my parents would feel sorry for me, and attempt to help me, but it usually ended up with the car stopping in the middle of the road, me muttering:  "Okay, Kendra, calm down.  Okay Kendra, calm down," while they yelled:  "KENDRA, COME ON!!  LET'S GO!"

But finally, I was able to conquer my fear, and Lorelai and I have became a new dynamic duo.

It's crazy to think how something that used to fill me with such trepidation has seemed to become an extension of myself, and helped to shape the way I see life, others, and my own journey.  This week, we'll discuss that.

Stay Encouraged!

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