To be completely honest, today’s post was going to be COMPLETELY different. I got half-way through, stopped, and decided to revamp. What caused this sudden change of topic, you might ask? It occurred to me while watching “Black Men Revealed” this morning that “attraction” is a more poignant topic than what I originally had planned.
Well, the topic today on “Black Men Revealed” was: ‘We’ve Got Issues Too.’ On this great episode they talked about their insecurities, and how they feel that certain things led to their downfall with women. Some of the men expressed that they probably wouldn’t be desirable if they didn’t have certain cars, with certain rims, or money in general.
Listening to the panel reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend Wayne in college. While philosophizing at the cafeteria table, Wayne expressed a theory called: “The 2, 3, 4 Phenomenon.” He explained that the 2, 3, 4 theory is conducive to college campuses, and it emphasizes women’s attraction to men. The theory dictates: “to get a woman in college, you need to have at least one of these things: 2-numbers on a jersey, 3-Greek letters, or 4-wheels on a car.”
When he first said this, my girls and I immediately howled at how wrong he was, but he then began to name names of guys on our campus that honestly, probably wouldn’t have gotten much play if they didn’t fall under the category of the 2, 3, or 4.
Years later, I had an epiphany about the theory, and couldn’t wait to tell my NEW theory to disprove the “2, 3, 4.” I realized that it’s not about having certain things, but the main thing that attracts women is CONFIDENCE.
It seems like, for men sometimes, that if they are lacking in fiscal amenities, then their confidence begins to drag. If a man has confidence, it doesn’t matter what he has, he’s somehow intriguing, and may I say… attractive. So, having his name on the back of a jersey, the closeness of a brotherhood, or a new ride will cause a man to have a little bit more of a sway in his step, and hold his head a little higher than normal.
One summer while working at Busch Stadium, one of my workers started talking to me. It turned out that we went to the same high school, but I honestly never realized that he existed. We started talking, and realized that we went to elementary school together. After talking, he reveals to me that he FLUNKED KINDERGARTEN (how in the CRAP do you flunk kindergarten?! Couldn’t get the nap schedule down?!), had a POLICE RECORD (“I can’t really travel, until I get approval from my parole officer), had a CHILD, and a CRAZY baby momma!!
After hearing all of this, I was mentally planning my escape, when he smiled at me, and with a confidence I’ve never seen from a man, asked me out. It was as if having that confidence just over-rid ALL of the things that he said to me!! How was it that a college student was about to go out on a date with an ex-con who graduated from high school when he was 20?! That confidence, or lack of an overused word, that SWAGGER, drew me in.
Not only did it draw me in, but it would have me overlook all the negative things during our [EXTREMELY] short time dating. He would stand me up for dates, and when I would go to talk to him, that bizarre confidence that he had just kept me coming back!! It was like a drug, and I was jonesing for it!! Tony didn’t have a 2, he DEFINITELY didn’t have a 3, and he BARELY had a 4, but because of his C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E, it kept this addict coming back for more.
So let it be known, men. You do not have to have to drive yourself to the poor house to catch a woman. You don’t even need to drive, honestly. If you have an amazing personality, the ability to make her laugh, and those 10 letters, you can get a woman for a date… maybe even two.