Monday, April 27, 2009

The Myth of the Conniving Woman

Dear Bloggers,

This week’s discussion is going to focus on the “conniving” woman. Now, who is this woman? Does she hide under the pretenses of friendship? Is she the woman who sees you in your happy relationship and goes out of her way to steal your mate? When you need her, is she is more elusive than Big Foot, but when she needs you she seems to pop out from the woodwork at your job, your home, mysteriously appears in the back seat of your car? Is she a particular woman, or is she something that comes installed in that other X chromosome?

In my life, I have been blessed to have AMAZING friendships; but these friendships seem to exist in two different worlds. In one world, I have my girl friends, and in a completely separate world I have my guy friends. Each world peacefully coexists, and my life within each world is peaceful, loving, and exciting.
My ventures in having friendships with girls have been great (I’ve been EXTREMELY blessed), but some did not always have pleasant outcomes. I was lucky enough to have had many girl friends in the past and the present that have been loyal, trusting, and was intent on building each other up. Along with those friends, there were the minority of frienemies that would slip under my “fake” radar and would purposely try to embarrass me (shouting in class: “YOUR OUTFITT DOESN”T MATCH!”), berate me (“guys only like you because of your big butt and your long hair”), start rumors about me (stranger: “So, YOU’RE the girl in the backseat of the car?!”), and intentionally turned mutual friends against me (“But, she said you said something about my cousin!!”). Do these women fall under the category of “conniving women”? Have I indulged in likewise behavior due to insecurities? (Don’t worry. I’ll be putting myself on blast this week)
In my guy friends’ world, dealing with “the conniving woman” is a constant. The woman (not every woman, but you know who you are) who is pursuing one of my male friends, for some reason sees me as an enemy and treats me as so. To her, I’M the conniving woman.

Many times in college, I would be hanging out with my group of guy friends and a girl who would be pursuing one of them would come to where we were. She would enter the door of their apartment, or dorm, excited with the expectation of being the only female surrounded by testosterone. With a big smile on her face, she would walk in triumphantly, scan the room, and her face would IMMEDIATELY fall when she saw me. Being the insanely friendly person I am, I would jump up, walk to introduce myself to her. “HI!! MY NAME IS KENDRA!!” I would have a huge Jokeresque smile on my face, and I would extend my hand out to her for a shake. My brain would be racing with the anticipation of making a new friend, and having someone to turn to when the guys began to discuss physical attributes of females that I really did NOT need to know they noticed (guys tend to compare things to animals… a little disturbing…), and then I would get the limp hand grab.

The girl would treat my hand as if touching it was going to burn her, turn her into a pillar of salt, or make all of her hair fall out. Does my hand smell? (“Nah… just smells like Jergens…”). It wasn’t until after the girls got over my friends rejecting them, that they would befriend me and later apologize for their inhospitable behavior due to the fact that they thought that I was “conniving.”

My question for all to ponder is: Why? Why women? Why do we constantly try to bring the broad next to us down? Then for the others, why do we suspect that every woman out there has questionable morals and are trying to set us up for failure? Are there not enough social institutions that try to hold women down, that we need to add to that pressure by holding each other down?! LET’S EVOLVE!!


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