Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Moving Away from the Crowd
One of the unofficial rules that some parents learn is that when your toddler falls to curtail your reaction. Now, it's hard. You're child is so important to you and when you see them fall you're normal reaction is to rush over, hug them, kiss them, and tell them that everything is going to be okay.
Now, I'm not saying that when your child harms him/herself that you should ignore them, and walk over their prostrate body. But what I'm saying is that before you lie on the floor with them and share in a good emotional cry, you should wait to see how your child reacts to their own fall.
Perception is key here and what could convince a child to just get up and wipe themselves off, or cry about an injury that's not really that severe is the reaction of the parents. A lot of times when children fall, they might not be completely hurt, and it's nothing for them to jump back up and get back to playing. However, if a parent is quick to react before finding out the severity of the injury, it tends to make the situation worse.
So, some parents are taught to wait to see how their children react to a fall or a small bruise before they do, because children tend to react off of their parents' reactions.
As we grow, there are certain traits that we pick up and discard, but one that seems prevalent is that our reactions to situations can be sometimes greatly influenced by the reactions of others. Now, I'm not talking about those gut reactions of happiness, horror, or distress when we hear extreme news, but the times, like when we were children and we had a minor fall, and looked around dazed to see what everyone else's reactions were so we could know how to properly react.
In moments of personal inflection, if we sit back and think about the times that we reacted to certain situations, how many times were our opinions influenced by the reactions of others?
A lot of times it's very easy to sit back and just go with popular opinion, because anything else makes you stand out. It puts you in a vulnerable position of having to explain yourself, or makes you an easy target for criticism for not going with the flow.
However, life is about experience, and if your experiences are based off of trying to adhere yourself to the perceptions of the masses, that's when you're cheating yourself. You have a unique voice for a reason. A different perspective, a view point that might not match what's popular. But that's what makes life so beautiful. Being able to have one event influence different viewpoints.
So when something happens that doesn't cause you to immediately react. Allow it to marinate in your mind, and create your own reaction, instead of looking around to figure out how you're supposed to react. The same as when you're a child. The moment you begin to step from your parents' shadows is when you're able to become the person that you're supposed to be. Each day presents you with an opportunity of stepping away from the comforting hold that is popular opinion. Yeah, it's scary to leave that safe haven, but once you step out on your own that's when you can start becoming the person that you want to be.