Thursday, September 16, 2010

It Couvade Happen to You

Dear Bloggers,

If there is something that I cannot stand, it is when a person is being talked about because of his/her physical attributes. If you sit there and really listen to people and when they verbally attack someone, they'll usually go after something that the defensive person can't help. Now, if they were to talk about a person's hygiene, or inability to match clothes, okay. It's still immature, but that's something a person can help. They can wake up earlier, brush and floss their teeth a little better, and try to avoid mixing stripes with plaid. However, making fun of a person about their skin color, facial formation, or weight can trigger something in me.

Now, this is probably all attributed to the fact that I am a recovering bulimic (two years going strong!!). It really didn't seem that long since I was binging and purging, and when I was, everyday seemed like an eternity. I used to wait and pray for the hours to go by, because the more time I was conscious, the more I was aware of the way I was harming my body.

Even though that was a very difficult moment in my life, I successfully overcame it, and not only do I have someone who loves me in any capacity, I now love myself. Pregnancy also helps with this transition, because I know that anything that I do now affects my baby, so that helps out a lot when I try on clothes that no longer fit, thanks to my growing body.

However, my body's not the only one that's growing. My husband is going through sympathy pains, or technically known as "Couvade Syndrome." Couvade syndrome can make men go through symptoms that are similar to their pregnant mates'. Those symptoms can vary from emotional pains, irritability, nausea, and weight gain. My lover is suffering from the last symptom, however, every single person we know keeps on pointing it out to him.

Whenever a person points out this perceived imperfection, I immediately get upset and want to point out their flaws. Being such an empathetic person immediately makes me put myself in his position and I begin to remember how I felt with people in my life began to point out my weight gain when it happened, which caused me to want to binge further.

Driving away from the imbeciles, I turn to my husband enraged and ask him if it bothers him. He usually laughs at me and tells me no. Regardless if it bothers him or not, it bothers me, and I find that I need to bite my tongue to not remind the perpetrators that they wouldn't be appearing in any fashion magazines anytime soon.

One day, while venting about it, Ed just turned to me and said something so simple, I felt like an idiot for not thinking of it. "Kendra, we eat a lot of fast food. I'm starting to gain weight, let's slow down on it." I realized at that moment that being mad at people for pointing out the obvious (I mean, COME ON, PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE KNOW WHEN THEY'RE GAINING WEIGHT, DON'T POINT IT OUT... JERKS!!), I'm just as culpable for suggesting fast food whenever I don't feel like cooking, or cleaning the dishes (because honestly, he cooks dinner, I just hate washing the dishes. Just keeping it real, ya dig?).

We've introduced a healthier eating style to ourselves (and the fetus, you're welcome, Baby), and started working out. Even though at this moment, my thighs still hurt from our two mile walk up and down some gnarly hills, I feel good knowing that my husband feels the same way he makes me feel everyday.



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