Monday, September 7, 2009

The Heart of Humility

Dear Bloggers,

Happy Labor Day, and welcome back!! I thank you all very much for having a lot of patience with me while my relationship with my blog teetered due to work. I truly appreciate it, and I thank ALL of you who decided to give me another chance!! To show you just how much I appreciate you all coming back, I’ve brought you something, A NEW TOPIC!!

I moved back home, and finally got a job in publishing. However, with this move came the fact that I had to resubmit myself to the law of my parents. Having my job, and feeling as if I was a grown woman was always fleeting whenever I had to ask my parents for rides to places (because I’m saving up for a car… and a studio apartment in New York City… whichever one comes first is fine with me).

The transition living back home has been admittedly difficult, due to the fact that I feel as if my parents treat me as if I was still in high school, rather than the college graduated, Corporate America working vixen I have become. I was very used to living in a world that whenever I wanted to go somewhere I could, and didn’t have to explain where I was going, who I was going with, how did I know this person, how long was I planning on being out, and why did my head just explode? This has caused tension between my parents and myself, so whenever there’s an opportunity to leave the house, I jump on it like a grasshopper.

This weekend, my friend Jocelyn and I decided to go to a street wide celebration in St. Louis. My alma mater (University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign) played the Missou Tigers. Jocelyn and I decided to go, at the last minute. While she lives very close to where the celebrating was going down, I had to vie for a ride from my father to take me to the metrolink station.

When my father dropped me off, he made note of a man standing in front of the station, and told me to watch out for him. After rolling my eyes and feeling frustrated that my father doubts my abilities to take care of myself, I got out the car. My father then proceeded to speed off, to catch a tennis match that he was late for. The moment I stepped towards the station to buy my ticket, the mysterious man mumbled something at me: “Ma’am… please call for an ambulance, I think I might be having a heart attack.”

“WHAT?!” I immediately looked back to where my father’s car used to be, and I realized that he was long gone. Time was critical and I needed to do something to help save his life, so I did the only thing I could think of. I asked stupid questions. “What’s the number for an ambulance?!”


“Oh, yeah…”

I called 9-1-1, and proceeded to answer all of the questions for the man, and then after getting very overwhelmed, I just handed him my cell phone, and proceeded to look aimlessly while he described his history of having a bad heart to the 9-1-1 operator. I frantically looked for an ambulance, and listened for a siren that I was sure to come, but never did while I was there.

After he gave me back my phone, and the operator hung up on me, I stood stunned. I looked at the man expectantly. Was his heart going to jump from his throat? Was I supposed to stay there with him? Should I elevate his feet? Should I give him ice chips? Where in the CRAP do I get ice chips at a metrolink station?!!

After a few awkward seconds, I guess the man got tired of me staring at him like he was in a sideshow at a carnival, and politely told me to go away (“Ma’am… I don’t need you anymore. Thank you for helping me, but you can go ahead and catch your train.”)

As I waited for my train to come, I couldn’t help but think about my first reaction, to have my father save the day. I immediately realized that I wasn’t as adult as I thought I was. A strong sense of humility covered me like a wet blanket, and I began to feel as if I was a little girl again.

Humility can be a tough thing to handle, especially when you’ve convinced yourself that you already know all the answers. However, on the other hand, humility could be something to help liberate you from your ignorance and enhance your growing abilities. Regardless, you’re never too young, or too old (like I painfully realized) to receive a lesson that humbles you. When that lesson comes, will you be a willing student? This week, LET’S DISCUSS!!


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